i..i...i...

There are certain things I'm getting tired of. I'm tired of certain songs that I used to love, but after overuse, I'm sick of them. I'm tired of having a rutine. I need to get away. I can't right now. I want to get away and stay away. I'm starting to feel trapped. I'm tired of getting dissappointed, with things not turning out the way I thought they would, with people, with my own inability to do things. I'm tired of gravity. I want to fly.

Enough complaining. I do need to get away though. Here's where I am. I have been praying about this, honestly for years. I feel led to be a missionary in Europe, I've had that burden for a long time. Lately, I think God is calling me to either Austria (dominantly Catholic, very perfectionistic) or Switzerland. I don't feel as called to Switzerland as I do Austria, but that's where I am. I'm thinking about volunteering for a semester at Taurnhof just to get used to Austria, sharpen my German, and to test the waters to see if that is what God really wants me to do. There's still a lot God has to reveal about this, but I trust Him. I'm so scared that something is going to make me want to stay, either family or finances or doubts or fear, or just something getting in the way. Did you know that there is the same amount of Protestants in Austria as there are Muslims? I hope I can run into Sophie or Bettina so they can tell me if I'm crazy for wanting to go or not.

School is starting to drive me insane. I feel like I'm drowning with the pressure. It's really not that much, but I'm having a hard time. I have so many projects and papers this semester that are flying over my head like a swarm of angry bees, and if I try to swat them away, they'll only come back to sting me.