Flaws

I've been thinking lately about how flaw ridden I am. Things I ignore about myself, that I know need correction, that have lately been brought to light. I often have a very ungracious attiutde toward people I have no patience for, or people I won't even give a chance. Today (and right now) I saw a man on my street who's living in his car, right next to my house. Naturally this causes some alarm, and annoyance because he is, even as I write, blasting Mexican music (which I've learned to love since moving here because it's a little slice of California, but it's not so nice when it's right outside your window). But this morning, as I was going to go to church, I said, "what in the heck does that guy think he's doing?" This was ungracious. Maybe he has no where else to live. Maybe he's working on the constuction site right accross the street from my house, and that is home for him. Regardless of his reasons for being there, I shouldn't have said it.

Today in church I was lauding how much I loved this church. and yet every sunday, at almost any church, I nominally enjoy church, and yet I can't wait till church gets out, so I can go home and loaf. it's like "only 10 more minutes." I need to enjoy the body of believers, and not see church as a chore.

There have just been certain attitudes and things I've said online and at home, which have proven disturbing to me about myself. I need the Lord to show me and give me the fruit of the spirit which is self-control, love, and joy.(those are the ones I need). i think I overlook attitudes when I think about sanctification. When I think about sanctification, I think of God getting rid of sin. But not like, subtle sins, like ungraciousness, but big ones. And so I think, well, i'm off Scotch free, I've got nothin left! And yet there's still this hornets nest left in my heart that needs to be dealt with. Lord, take care of the hornets nest!